:::Ten Things Ya Just Shouldn't Say In Houston (And Other Tx Crap):::

Ya know in honor of the hometown?

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10. How bout them yankees?
9. East coast
8. It's too hot
7. Nawf side
6. the Astros suck
5. Rap sucks

4. Whats Swishahouse?
3. Who is Mike Jones?

2. Damn Mexicans
And the #1 thing you should NEVER say in Houston is....drumroll please....

Texas Facts!!!!!! Not that you people would be concerned but hey...
World's first rodeo was in Pecos, TX July 4, 1883.

The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in
North America built over  water.

The Heisman Trophy was named after John William
Heisman who was the first full time coach for Rice
University, Houston.

Brazoria County has more species of birds than any
other area in North  America.

Jalapeno Jelly originated in Lake Jackson, TX in 1978.

The worst natural disaster in U.S. history was in 1900
caused by a hurricane in which over 8000 lives were
lost (Galveston,TX).

The first word spoken from the moon, July 20, 1969 was

El Paso, TX is closer to California than it is to

Laredo, TX is the worlds largest inland port.

Tyler Municipal Rose Garden is the world's largest
rose garden with over 38,000 bushes with 500 varieties
on 22 acres.

The Texas State Shell is the Lightning Whelk.

King Ranch is larger than Rhode Island.

July 1979 Tropical Storm Claudette brought a U.S.
rainfall record of 43" in 24 hours in and around
Alvin, TX.

Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by treaty
instead of by annexation.

A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500
years old.

Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.

Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no
period after Dr in Dr  Pepper.

Texas has had six capital cities....
1. Washington-on-the-Brazos
2. Harrisburg
3. Galveston
4. Velasco
5. West Columbia
6. Austin

The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the
U.S. which is taller than the Capitol Building in
Washington D.C. (by 7 feet).

The name Texas comes from the Hasini indian word
"tejas" meaning friends.

The Texas State animal is the Armadillo.

The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astro Dome
in Houston.

The 2nd capital of Texas is Harrisburg. That was a
city founded by John  Harris back when Texas was still
a part of Mexico.

During the Texas Revolution, Santa Anna burned the
city to the ground but it resurfaced after the
battle of San Jacinto. The capital of the new Republic
of Texas was moved to Harrisburg  from
Washington-on-the-Brazos because it built a railroad
hooking up to  Galveston.

Back before the Civil War, Galveston was the richest
port in the Gulf of  Mexico. During the Civil War, the
town was again burned to the ground, only to resurrect
once again and extend its railroad to San Antonio. But
the town was  never really the same after that second

Houston was a growing city just to the north of
Harrisburg and in 1926 it was annexed by the city of

Our county was named after John Harris and the
importance he played in the early development of this
area of Texas.

Also, the reason that Texas became a state through
treaty rather than annexation was because it was an
independent nation when Congress offered it
statehood. All other states were first territories of
the United States (either bought from other countries
-- like the Louisiana Purchase -- or won through wars)
and then were annexed according to the rules of
Article IV section III in the  U.S. Constitution.

Because Texas is unique on how it entered the U.S. it
also can leave the  union whenever it wants (at least
theoretically) and there have been some attempts  to
do that since we seceded with the Confederate states
back in 1861. The  most recent serious debate on
secession was in the 1970s during the energy crisis
when President Carter was forcing Texas to sell its
gas & oil to the northern states at discounted prices.
There were bumper stickers on virtually every truck in
Texas at that time saying "Let the Bastards Freeze in
the Dark".  Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed and we
did not leave the U.S. If we had, our  country would
have had the 5th highest GNP in the world because of
our energy driven economy and OPEC (that coalition of
Arabic nations) was driving prices of oil incredibly
high by cutting off supply. Of course, when OPEC
resumed supplying the world with energy, Texas would
have been a struggling third world nation (remember
how the economy bottomed out in 1980s?)
Some scholars think that  although Texas does have a
provision in its current state constitution for
secession, the legality of such an act would
ultimately be a decision for the  U.S. Supreme Court.

Houston Traffic Rules, and yet again not much intrest in less you wanna go to Houston!! Which you should.

1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is "Ewe-stun",
not "Huestun." Oh yea, it is pronounced "San Phal-ee-pay," not
"San Phil-eep" (San Felipe).

2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Houston has
its own version of traffic rules...Hold on and pray. There is no
such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Houston. We all
drive like that.

3. All directions start with, "Go down to Loop 610".... which
has no beginning and no end.

4. The Chamber of Commerce calls getting through traffic...a
"Scenic Drive."

5. The morning rush hour is from 6:00AM to 10:00AM. The evening
rush hour is from 3:00PM to 7:00PM. Friday's rush hour starts
Thursday morning.

6. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be
rear-ended, cussed out and possibly shot. When you are the first
one off the starting line, count to five when the light turns
green before going, to avoid getting into any cross-traffic's

7. Kuykendahl Road can ONLY be pronounced by a native

8. Construction on I-10, I-45, US 59 and Loop 610 is a way of
life and a permanent form of entertainment.

9. All unexplained smells are explained by the phrase, "Oh, we
must be in Pasadena!!!."

10.If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is probably
a factory defect.

11.All old ladies with blue hair in a pink Cadillac have
total right-of-way.

12.The minimum acceptable speed on Loop 610 is 85 mph. Anything
less is considered downright sissy.

13.The wrought iron on windows in east Houston is NOT

14.Never stare at the driver of the car with the bumper sticker
that says, "Keep honking, I'm reloading." In fact, don't honk at

15.If you are in the left lane, and only going 70 mph in a 60
mph zone, people are not waving when they go by.

16.The Sam Houston Toll road is our daily version of NASCAR.

17.If it's 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend.

18.When in doubt, remember that all unmarked exits lead to

19.You don't have to wait for an exit to get off a freeway, just
follow the ruts in the grass to the frontage road like everyone
else. This is how Houston residents notify Texas Department of
Transportation where exits should have been built.

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H-town, i love you baby

I WaNt YoU I NeEd YoU Oh BaBy Oh BaBy